Letting Bygones be Bygones

I really don’t know what’s hitting me. Hormones? Maybe.

Who knows.

I am really really missing the Chinese New Year celebrations. I’m missing my dad and mom. Strange thing is… when I’m with them, they drive me up the wall! But… having spent my New Years with my inlaws for so long.. I really miss spending my CNY eve and first day with my folks.

We had a really big spread today (as we normally do, in such festivities), thanks to my mother in law. She cooked up a HUGE storm..and it all tasted sooo good. After dinner, the family got down to watching our wedding DVD. It’s the first time anyone’s seen it, since our wedding..oh, about a 100 years ago. Everyone looked so young and happy.

My kids saw us, young, in action for the first time. I saw both my paternal and maternal granmas so young and in action. My maternal granma left us early last year, and my paternal granma isn’t doing so well. She has Alzheimer’s and isn’t so mobile anymore. I almost cried when I saw them sitting together at the dining table, talking to each other and joyous, soaking up all the good vibes in that ballroom.

When my folks came late last year, I had a huge fight with my dad. The problem with both of us, is that we have the same temper. As they flew off, it was unresolved.

As we are so alike, we felt bad about our actions. And we sent emails, roughly about the same time. Mainly gruff-like cryptic apologies, both of us, not wanting to assume responsibility for starting the big fight. As we skyped earlier today… it was good to have a conversation with him again. Without that heavy feeling inside.

I don’t know how long we have.

But..then why is it, every single time we meet… we fight like cats and dogs! I love that guy..but he really drives me up the wall alot of times! I really need to find some kind of zen inside… peace out..so I don’t get agitated with him!

But at the same time, I really miss them when I have to talk to them on skype.


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Begone Fats : The Biggest Loser

by MOTT on FEBRUARY 1, 2011

In the morning, a breakfast scene :

No.1 : Mu-um, Is it because of your running, your tummy is not so fat now?

Mu-um : Oh (absolutely beaming) yes! I think so.

No.2 : Where mu-um? Where?

Mu-um : Where what?

No.2 : Where’s your not-so-fat tummy? I can’t see it!

Mu-um nods wisely : Yes…that’s why it’s called the not-so-fat tummy.

In the evening, watching The Biggest Loser premier episode :

No.2 : Mu-um… look! look! Your tummy looks like theirs now.

Mu-um mumbles sadly : Yes son..yes, let’s not remind mu-um.

No.2 : Is it because you’ve eaten so much that your tummy is now so fat? Again?

No.1 : But no! Mu-um has been exercising…so her tummy is getting better!

Mu-um thinks to herself : Oh! I think I shall run abit more tomorrow morning! :D

Kids .. have a way of inflating and deflating my ego.

In a way, I want my kids to learn that we can’t magic erase away our weight problems. We can’t sink into the comfortable spot where we think it’s acceptable to be unhealthy. All weight problems can be worked out, and while it will take time to work it out, IT ALWAYS WORKS OUT AT THE END OF THE DAY. Just don’t give up, and look for online support. People with similar issues who take running as their way of getting high.

I like running alone, but in a way, when I run, it’s like I have a group of them in my head, and they are running with me, in spirit.

I sound.. schizo. Sheesh.

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