Breastfeeding : Pleasure or Pressure?
Increasingly, I find that more and more women are breastfeeding due to the Breastfeeding Campaigns in Hospitals, Parenting Groups, Blogs, Breastfeeding advocates like La Leche and ABA of course, the media.
In fact, in any Australian Hospital, if you are well, you MUST breastfeed, or face the wrath of the midwives who are, in my opinion, the guardians of this act. Even those midwives who have never breastfed in their lives, will break down your door, give you that evil stare and ‘make’ you breastfeed whether you like it or not.
To me, breastfeeding should be a personal choice. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I breastfed my two kids for the first 6-7 months of their life. Now, with my third child, I am into my 4th month. My first child, I was naive and fed my child on demand. Needless to say, that worked well for my milk supply. My second child, I was given a hormone pill to stimulate milk supply. My third child, because he wasn’t putting on weight, I was ‘made’ to pump continuously.
I remember my 3rd day, in the hospital, when a Vietnamese Lady came in and insisted on bottle feeding. The midwife was practically yelling at her telling her to breastfeed instead. I looked on enviously knowing that this Viet Lady did not for one minute understand what this midwife was going all maniacal about. She spoke little English. Lucky her. With bottle feeding, the feeds take a shorter time, you can prepare it on the spot, just need warm water and milk formula. Easy peasy, no fuss.
With breastfeeding, the first six weeks (and so on) are the most nerve-wrecking. First, if baby doesn’t latch on well, you’ll get extremely sore nipples. Plus, if baby isn’t feeding well, you’ll have to spend extra time pumping. Then you’ll get all depressed, and tired from the lack of sleep because by the time, you finish pumping, it’s time for the next feed. One feed alone can take up to one hour. When you pump, it’s quite depressing as the volume is usually very VERY low.
The immense pressure that a mother feels, from other mothers if one doesn’t breastfeed is enormous! I mean, to be mentally stigmatised as a “bad mother”…from depriving the ‘poor’ child from this precious milk, is just too much!
All this can make a mother feel inadequate and depressed. To breastfeed successfully, it’s so hard to see the trees from the forest, when everyday, you are stuck with a bub on the (painful) boob, just feeding the child. You feel like you can’t do much, there is no time to have a good shower, have a good meal, have a good rest, because there is just no time! Even when you bring the lil bub out for their checks, you’ll have to time it in a way, that they’d be fed…or they’d be wailing the house down!
But at the end of the day (or month), breastfeeding can work out as long as you keep to it….despite having terrible mood swings, bad breath and body odor (hah!), bad hair and bushy eyebrows (heh!).
So……..I’d like to ask, what is breastfeeding to you? Pleasure or pressure?
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I made my decision to bf my child right fr the start . For #1, it was really pressure as my milk was really low and my son was cryin all the time. I have limited support and i actually ended up calling up strangers in one of the hospital’s bfg support mothers. That call helped tremendously to let me know tat I wasn’t a failure and that it is normal in the beginning. I bf my #1 till 18 mths. I only supplemented with fm from 14 mths onwards.
Hence for #2, it was pleasure coz got experience liao ma. Also #2’s temperament is milder than #1, and that helped a lot. Sure i was still stressed esp when i first got back to work. Now, i only stress coz he don really like the bottle.
But honestly, i really pity those children whose mother choose NOT to bf them, even in the first few 2 months when they are on maternity leave. I feel every mom should try to bf. Not exclusive is fine, but not even trying??..really kesian the child.
I second to what shooi said.
To me, I just want to give my boy all the best I could… something money can’t buy. Knowing that he don’t get sick regularly, worth all the sacrifices I made during those months.
And now, with the price increase in so many things esp on milk powder, bfg is one way to help lessen the burden.
Hi! Bad mommy speaking here. I only breastfed S1 for 2 months. After going back to work, I couldn’t express in the office…and it somehow dried up.
As for S2…I was NOT working. But developed a whole load of problems. First with backaches and I couldn’t carry him at all. Couldn’t even get up. Was soooo sick that I thought I was gonna die. Had some kind of infection, and put on antibiotics…so doc told me not to breastfeed as the medication may be in the milk. So..Poor S2 only had about 1/2 month of mommy’s milk.
Bad mommy signing out.
It is a pleasure when I could see and feel my baby close to me. This is the only time I could hold them as much as possible..think of it this way, once they are way older, they wouldn’t even want us to embrace them. It is also a pressure when I’m not pumping as much as I could for storage.
for me….. I tell u in september or when baby decides to come out. Cos with J i only bf-ed for 6 weeks. Think back kinda regret it. Now with no2 I “planned” to bf longer. See how things goes.
I am an avid supporter of bf but like you said, it should be a choice, to be encouraged but not force upon on any mother.
I think you already know that I did not bf Ryan for more than a week and I has regretted since. Blame it on ignorance and no encouragement from anyone close to me *sob sob* As for Mei Mei, I bf till she was 7 months, lots of hard work & sweat but worth every single drop of effort & milk too